Well today it would been your 86th birthday how I miss you... things as you know been ruff the darkness is once again here im afraid wont be able fight it much longer. I still find myself wanting call you for you tell me things be okay but  the silence now echos back to me where ever you went is there truly a heaven and you found peace?  This only place share my thoughts for  dont think anyone will ever understand the prision im in walls built myself darkness i allow to over well me. My sibblinga now distant my own mother has now put a hole not just in  my heart but soul know now she never wanted me why does she always make me feel useless. I know deep in my heart now it will never be same between us. im getting side track this is your birthday pa im sorry 

Today you were so much apart of me could feel you right beside me fishing. It is still hard miss you so much.  time they say heals all wounds but when you left my heart has big hole in it and still it aches so deeply. Can't but help wonder if anyone else feels that  feel still so alone without you. miss you my Pa so much .

Hard to believe it has been 2 years. My heart still aches for you...your so much in my thoughts. I have to catch myself keep thinking you are still here want just go over and talk to you. I been feeling lost lately.....feeing im so alone no family anymore to talk to.  Is just me or has things got more distance. There was suppose to be family get together end of June in lethbridge...that has all fallin apart family members have their own ideas . I'm tired trying...wish you were here at least always knew you were just a call away or we could get together. Today my heart will feel more empty as usual as today was day you left two years ago. I don't feel anyone  knows how deeply I miss you and think of you. Today I will go down to fishing hole cast a line for you like I do every year you are gone. I miss you so much Pa know you are missed love you....your eldest daughter Kelly

Today you would of been 74 , hard to believe. I reflect back on the many birthdays we shared together and how this day was special for you. I remember how excited like a child wondering  who would show up and all the laughter . They say as time goes on it gets easier the oposite for me  as I miss you  more and more each day. Today saw little piece of history you would of enjoyed we had a lunar eclispe of the moon that won't see again till 2010.  Know not just I but many have you in their thoughts today. Happy birthday Pa love ya

Well today is christmas Pa, how my heart is  sadden today you are not here. I remember the many christmas we spent together and wished there were more. Christmas hasn't been same since been gone...how families have drifted apart and were not all in contact anymore. I think or lease try to believe its because everyone misses you too that we get caught up in other things and forget the values you taught us to be together let by gones be bygones and strength our bond as a family. My only wish this christmas was once again be a family but sibblings from both sides got futher apart so my wish was all of us to let go of past be a family again. A  new year is slowly approaching and I pray to God and lets you hear my request of these words to be heard.  Till we meet again Pa I hold you close to my heart to keep me strong , I 'm afraid to be alone without you now. love your eldest daughter Kelly

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